Just Breathe
by bmango
Summary: Edward is taken to a concert by his brother for his birthday, but he runs into a little trouble. Luckily, Jasper is there to save him. Written for SorceressCirce's birthday. AH, OOC.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This O/S was written for SorceressCirce's birthday compilation along with several other amazing authors. Big thanks to theladyingrey42 and azihelm for prereading/beta-ing this story. Totally popped my slash cherry on this one...

You can see the other stories here:  
**Circe's Birthday Blog:** http://happybirthdaycirce (dot) blogspot (dot) com

Disclaimer: These boys aren't mine, although I wish they could come visit. I have never been to this club or Seattle, and I apologize with the liberties I have taken. Although I know it's sappy and not even the right era, the title is from a Pearl Jam song. Alice in Chains' songs were just too depressing or about drugs...

* * *

Stay with me...  
You're all I see.

Did I say that I need you?  
Did I say that I want you?  
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool, you see...  
No one knows this more than me,  
As I come clean.

I wonder everyday  
As I look upon your face,  
Everything you gave  
And nothing you would take,  
Nothing you would take...  
Everything you gave.

"Just Breathe" ~ Pearl Jam  
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

**EPOV **

I can't believe I let him talk me into this. Well, I can because he can talk me into just about anything including my current wardrobe choices, but I know he's going to ignore me for his _girlfriend_ all night anyway. I'm incredibly excited that he bought me tickets for my birthday, but I mean, who actually wants their little brother tagging along to a concert?

That's not entirely true. Emmett and I don't have a bad relationship. In fact, it's just the opposite. He was the first person I told I was gay, and he has been nothing but supportive, even going so far as trying to set me up. Well, perhaps that's not as much a sign of support as he likes to embarrass the hell out of me, and that's a sure way to do it.

I pull the flannel shirt over my black t-shirt and look at myself in the mirror. I try to smooth down my hair, but as usual, it does what it wants, sticking up in every direction no matter what products I use. I suppose it doesn't matter. Half the guys in school don't seem to even wash their hair anymore. I'm not sure I understand the whole "grunge" movement with the grubby jeans and scruffy faces, but it has taken hold here in Washington. I love the music, though. Nirvana, the Ramones, Pearl Jam, the heavy beats and agonizing lyrics capture what it is to be me: a high school senior aching to leave home and be free, free of rules and high school drama and home drama.

"Hey, Eddie! Are you about ready?" I scowl at Emmett's voice from the hallway. He knows I hate that nickname. He bangs on the door and I sigh.

"Yeah, I'll be right out." I grab my glasses and slide them on my face, putting the finishing touches on my nerdy exterior. Why my mother couldn't spend the extra cash to get me normal glasses, I'll never know. _The thick black frames hide my bushy eyebrows at least_, I think wryly.

I open the door and see my brother waiting for me, leaning against the wall. He walks toward me and looks me up and down before smacking me on the shoulder.

"Well, at least, you'll look the part."

I look at him and realize we match: faded jeans, t-shirt and flannel, although his is more snug as his bulky frame pushes the confines of the fabric. I had to borrow the flannel I'm wearing from him, and it hangs loosely on my slight frame. He told me he wouldn't be seen in public with me in my normal attire. I guess it's comfortable, but I always feel more myself in button-down shirts and polos. I sigh again. Maybe I _am_ just a geek.

"Thanks again for getting me this ticket, Em. I'm actually really excited."

"Well, as much as you fucking listen to them, I can't believe you've never seen them in concert. It's the least I could do for your eighteenth birthday, bro." He smiles at me and I return it, amazed that he actually knows my musical preferences.

His smile quickly fades as he glances at his watch. "Come on. We're going to be late picking up Rose, and I hate to make her wait." He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I groan. It's going to be a long night.

Emmett insists we take his jeep to the concert. With the top down. Whatever semblance of order I hoped to have my hair in is completely gone. We pick up Rosalie at her house and I'm forced into the back seat. Emmett turns the radio up and sings off-key to some rap shit with lewd lyrics and no real musical talent.

We live on the outskirts of town and make our way into downtown Seattle using the surface streets, avoiding much of the highway traffic. The concert's at the Showbox and I'm excited to feel the powerful energy from Layne Staley's lyrics in the small venue as the bodies pulse to the thumping beats. That man could honestly make me do anything with his words. Or his body. I shudder with that possibility and try not to let my teenage hormones get the best of me.

They should be highlighting "Jar of Flies" as it was just released. Layne's voice has never sounded so powerful and I get chills when he groans out "No Excuses". I try to subtly adjust myself and continue the banal conversation with my brother and Rose in the front seat.

This is _definitely_ going to be a long night.

We arrive and park quickly and I'm surprised at our luck. The venue only holds about a thousand people and general admission, so the earlier we arrive, the better the seats. Or I should say position in the crowd. There are no seats for concerts, but I could get close enough to touch Layne. Not that I ever would. God, I'm mortified to even think about that. Emmett snickers at me and I know I must be blushing. Soon, he and Rose will be sucking face and he won't bother himself with torturing me any more. Thank God.

We enter the doors and make our way through the crowd to get as close as possible. We find a small space in the center, about five or six people from the front. This will be perfect.

I look around at the red walls and giant pillars, trying to picture all the music that has echoed within the space. Music in all forms is just something that I know. It makes sense when the rest of the world doesn't. I start people-watching and notice all the flannel and torn clothing. The irony is not lost on me that all these teenagers and twenty-somethings are conforming to the same image while listening to music about not conforming.

I watch in awe as the band members and roadies start setting up the instruments, making sure all the speakers and microphones are set. I glance over at Emmett to thank him again, but Rose is thanking him. With her tongue.

I smirk and look away, content to watch the show on stage instead. They finally come up for air when the band takes the stage and the applause is deafening, the energy from the crowd overwhelming. I can feel the anticipation zinging in the air from everyone squeezed around me, waiting for the first notes.

And it begins.

They start with "Them Bones", and the crowd begins to scream and pulsate as one. They begin with mostly older tunes, getting the crowd warmed up, but soon I hear the familiar opening chords of "No Excuses". The mass of bodies pulls tighter around me and sways with the beat of the song. Most of the "Jar of Flies" album is slower paced but with lyrics poured from their souls. I inch closer to the stage, drawn in by the sweet voice. I gaze up at the man grasping the microphone with his fingers turning bone white as his words rake over me like claws, tearing into me.

As lost as I am in the music, I don't realize how close I am to the front until the next song begins. "Rooster" takes over the speakers and the mood immediately shifts. The tight press of bodies begins slamming into each other and me, throwing themselves around to the steady pounding of the beat. A large elbow shoves me to the side and I lose my footing, slipping under the rough tangle of bodies. I reach out to grab anything on my way down and hang on for dear life as I catch someone's arm. Pulling myself up, I receive a scowl and a shove from my supposed savior.

"Hey! Back the fuck off!" The bulky guy shoves me again and I try to move away, but the crashing waves of people prevent any movement.

"S-sorry," I mumble back, trying to move further away.

I'm pushed forward again and stumble into the guy I'm trying to avoid. He elbows me in the gut and shoves me again, this time just scowling in my face. I trip over my own feet and feel myself going down and my glasses rip from my face. Instinct takes over, and I flail again for some kind of purchase. I grasp onto another arm, but this time I feel a sharp yank on my hand, a tug under my arm and I'm pulled to my feet to be greeted by a blurry but beautiful smiling face. He makes sure I'm able to stand and then pulls on the hand he's still gripping tightly.

I'm not completely blind, but without my glasses, navigating in the pulsing light and darkness is difficult, and I thankfully follow his blonde head as he tugs me along, shoving his way through the bodies surrounding us. He leads me to a wall and I lean against it and close my eyes, trying to catch my breath. He stands next to me, back to the wall, panting just as heavily.

A slower song, "Don't Follow", fills the speakers and he takes the opportunity of the quieter music to talk.

"Jesus, man. Were you trying to get killed out there?"

I open my eyes and find him staring at me, the most beautiful deep grey eyes revealed to me in the flashing lights. His blonde hair is wavy and he keeps brushing it back from his face. I glance down past his red lips to his baggy t-shirt and jeans with a wallet chain dangling from his side. He may just be my fantasy boy. _Jesus Christ on a cracker._ I bite my lip to keep from groaning out loud. _Wait, did he ask me something?_

"Uh," I stammer. _Great, brilliant opening there Cullen_. "No, just got lost in the music, I guess," I finish lamely. I look up at his eyes again and see something more. Compassion? _God, I'm such a girl._

"Well, perhaps you should try to avoid mosh pits if you're lost." I notice he's looking down at my body as well. "Or, at least, fight back." He smirks at me then and extends his hand.

I look quizzically at him, until I realize he's holding my glasses. I look at my shoes as I shove them on my face, quietly cursing them. I see his shoes move closer and I look up again. His beautiful eyes are impossibly deep and I feel he can see right through me, knowing exactly what I'm feeling.

He reaches forward with his hand and removes my glasses again, brushing my cheek with his fingertips.

"Don't get me wrong, those glasses are sexy as fuck, but I don't want you to hide your amazing green eyes."

My knees go weak to think that this beautiful boy may be flirting with me. Since coming out, high school has been rough. I've discovered who my true friends are, and the list is decidedly small. I also haven't had much experience flirting with other guys, and have only been kissed a few times.

I smile and lean into his touch, losing myself in the calloused roughness of his fingers. He steps closer until I can feel his breath on my cheek.

"Before I kiss you senseless, I need to know your name. I'm Jasper," he whispers into my ear. His words send heat searing through me, and I feel my cock respond eagerly.

"Edward," I moan out.

"Feel what you do to me, Edward?" He takes my hand and presses it into his jean-clad length, groaning into my ear as I squeeze him gently. "Two seconds of looking into your eyes and touching your cheek and I'm fucking hard as a rock."

Slowly, he turns my face to his, pausing before our lips make contact.

"Say something, Edward. Do you want this, too? Do you feel this?"

"Yes. Hell, Jasper, yes." I pant, needing to feel his lips. I tangle my fingers in his hair and pull his mouth to mine.

The second we kiss, the world ceases to exist.

The lights, the pounding music, the screams, the people bumping into us, all disappear. There is only Jasper and his lips on mine, his fingers caressing my face and digging into my back, his moans echoing in my mouth, his cock roughly rubbing against mine. The songs change multiple times, but I couldn't care less.

Jasper pulls away and for a second I'm terrified that he's running away.

"Come with me, darlin'. We need a little more privacy." He grabs my hand and pulls me through the crowd again. We're heading for the bathrooms and suddenly I'm nervous. The glaring fluorescents will not be forgiving. He will see me. The real me. The nerdy, geeky, no-one-will-ever-want-you Edward Cullen.

I pause at the door, knowing this is my last chance to hold onto this dream.

"I swear I won't hurt you, Edward. Please, come with me." Jasper's eyes plead with me as his hand squeezes mine encouragingly.

"I-I-I don't know. I've never done this before." I glance away from him, feeling the blush flood my cheeks.

"I'll take good care of you, I promise. I want you." He bends to look directly in my eyes. "I want you."

I look up at him again, sincerity in his voice and face. "You want me?"

"Yes, please."

I pause for another second, but I honestly know I can't say no to this man. I squeeze his fingers in return and grin at him. His answering smile is brilliant and he pushes open the door behind him, pulling me into the blinding white light with him.

The bathroom is completely deserted and he backs toward the end of the room, pulling me gently by my hand. His eyes burn through me and I duck my head to hide my blush, embarrassed by the strength of the yearning I feel for him, this almost stranger.

"God, Edward. If you keep blushing, I'm not going to be able to stop myself."

"Stop yourself from what?" I bite my bottom lip and look up at him, watching his eyes darken with lust and need.

He stops midstep and pulls me roughly into his chest, growling and encircling my waist with his strong arms. Our cocks press together and I tilt my hips into his slightly, eliciting a groan from both of us.

"From ravaging you right here, in the middle of the floor," he breathes into my ear.

I press into him again, pushing him toward the last stall. We enter quickly, and I slam and lock the door before he presses his body into my back, thrusting slightly against my ass. I tilt my head back to lean on his shoulder as he places hot, open-mouthed kisses on my neck.

"Unh... Jasper," I pant. "I need to see you."

He spins me around, pressing my back against the wall and slipping his hands under my flannel shirt. His mouth is immediately on mine, hot flesh pressing into my lips. I part my lips to moan, and his tongue slips between them to explore my mouth. Our panting is loud, almost drowning the steady thump of the music. My hand lifts his shirt slightly to run my fingers along the waist of his jeans, feeling the smooth skin of his toned abdomen. _What I wouldn't give to lick him._

I grab the back of his head, knotting my fingers in his hair, and tilting it to the side so I can finally put my mouth on his heated skin. Licking and sucking along his neck, I can hear a deep rumble in his chest.

"Fuck, Edward. Slow down, baby." I nibble his ear lobe and briefly pull on it with my teeth. "Jesus, fuck, that feels amazing!"

I smirk a little to myself, excited that I can elicit these reactions from him.

He tugs on my hair gently and moves his face towards mine. Our kisses become frantic, our bodies grinding together, cocks straining. His hands graze my stomach as he reaches for my belt, yanking it open. I gasp as I realize what he's doing.

"Jasper...," I pant. "Are you sure? I mean, you don't have to do this."

He looks deep into my eyes and I can see his lust and need staring back at me. "I know, Edward. I want to, no, I need to taste you. Just breathe. Feel what I can do for you."

Speechless, I nod as he kneels before me, unfastening my jeans and pulling them and my boxers down around my ankles. I rapidly remove my flannel and hand it to him, realizing his knees will be pressed into the hard tile. He looks up at me questioningly.

"For under your knees," I explain, blushing fiercely. _He probably thinks I'm a dork. God, I'm going to freaking ruin this before it even starts._

"Thanks." He smirks up at me before placing the shirt under his knees on the floor. "Really, Edward, that's... thoughtful."

I blush again, but he leans forward, lifting my shirt slightly, while running his nose along my hip bones. All embarrassment leaves me as his hands roam over my ass, pulling me towards him and his eager mouth. He leaves small kisses over my stomach and hips, coming close to where I want him most. He ghosts his fingertips along my straining shaft and my head falls back against the wall. I'm afraid if I watch his perfect hands holding me, I'll explode before feeling his luscious mouth.

I feel warmth on my thighs, his breath circling my throbbing cock. I can't resist any longer and tilt my head down to watch just as his pink tongue licks my entire length. I groan and desperately try to remain standing as my knees threaten to buckle.

He presses his lips against my head and sucks lightly, eliciting the most feral sounds from my throat. The sensations ripping through me are indescribable. I never knew it would feel like this.

"Good God, Jesus fuck..." I pound my fist against the wall, heat spreading from my groin and burning through my body.

Jasper wraps his lips around my cock and slowly engulfs my entire length. I can feel myself enter his throat as he swallows around me. He begins bobbing his head and I gently grasp his hair to guide him, slowly fucking his mouth. He looks up at me with hooded eyes, and I can feel myself tensing, watching his perfect lips envelop my length repeatedly.

"Oh, Jasper, you feel so good. I never knew it could be like this," I gasp as he increases the suction around my cock.

"Fuck me... I'm going to cum." I gently caress his face to warn him, but he takes my entire length into his throat. I explode into his mouth and start shaking when I feel him swallow my climax.

"Holy fucking hell," I murmur as I collapse against the wall, sliding down next to Jasper. I lean over and attack his mouth, tasting myself on his tongue. I reach down for the button on his jeans but his hand clasps around my wrist. I frown as he shakes his head at me. _Does he not want my mouth on him?_

"No, love, this was all for you. We'll have time for that later."

Later. I like the sound of that.

He leans into me and our lips meet sweetly, the heat smoldering between us. Eventually, we slowly stand and he helps me redress, smiling the entire time. He grabs my hand and I reluctantly follow him back towards the concert, the music still pounding through the walls.

We exit the bathroom and weave through the crowd, returning to our original position in front of the stage. I easily find Emmett and Rose, holding each other close while moving to the music. We join them and Emmett glances at Jasper and me. His eyes widen in surprise briefly as he notices our clasped hands, then he smirks at me.

"Happy fucking birthday," he mouths at me.

I laugh and shake my head at him before stealing another glance at the beautiful blonde boy beside me. I squeeze his hand and he turns to me, winking slyly.

I laugh again, happier than I have been in a long time. Happy fucking birthday to me indeed.

~Fin~


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So... I wrote this small continuation for SorceressCirce's birthday. It's a little JPOV and starts right after the end of chapter 1. Big thanks to theladyingrey42 for the beta-job. And thank you for reading. As always, I love to hear your thoughts. :)

..

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* * *

**JPOV**

As always, when I walk into the Showbox, I can almost feel the tingles along my skin in anticipation of what I'm about to see and hear and breathe. This time though, I don't think I could ever have anticipated this.

I glance over again at Edward standing next to me, a small smile playing on his lips, his eyes shining behind the dark-rimmed glasses, his hand twined with mine. If someone would have told me that at this concert - the one I had to come to by myself when all my friends bailed - I would meet a gorgeous boy and that he would still be standing here with me after that bathroom rendezvous, I would have laughed in his face.

This doesn't happen to me. Meeting siblings and holding hands doesn't happen to me.

Disappointment, rejection, lies and deceit. _Those_ are what happen to me. And I've built walls to protect myself from it happening again.

I feel a tug on my hand and look over to find Edward's face tilted towards mine and curiosity in his gaze. He leans over and places a small kiss on my neck before moving his lips to my ear, and I feel the bricks in my walls start to crumble. "Where'd you go?"

I shake my head, not wanting to get into that now, just wanting to enjoy the moment free of worries and bullshit and the war in my head with what I want to do and what I should do.

The remainder of the concert passes in a rush of sensations that threaten to drown me: the notes infiltrating my ears and mind, the visible energy of the crowd pulsing around us, Edward's taste still on my tongue and his fingers warm against my skin. Overwhelmed I barely register that the music has ended until the lights come up and people begin to file past to the doors.

Emmett, Edward's brother, turns toward us, smiles and then punches Edward on his shoulder, causing him to drop my hand.

"Ow! What the hell, Em?" Edward chastises, shrugging his shoulder while awkwardly rubbing it.

"You fuckers wanna grab something to eat?" the larger man bellows, like he has only one volume even without the music blaring. I glance over at Edward but don't have any idea what he wants from the glare that he's directing at his brother. If I'm being honest, I have no idea what _I_ want either.

Before either of us can answer, Rose, Emmet's girlfriend, leans over and whispers something in his ear before straightening and addressing us.

"Actually, Em and I are going to head out to the jeep. You'll catch up, Edward?"

Edward nods enthusiastically, and Rose smirks as she leads a slightly baffled but completely compliant Emmett toward the exit.

As soon as they are out of sight, Edward turns to me, grinning from ear-to-ear. "So, did you want to get something to eat?" he asks eagerly, reaching for my hand again.

I want to say yes to him more than anything, but there are so many things unrelated to Edward or tonight that are still holding me back.

My internal debate must last longer than I think as I glance up to find his smile fading and his gaze no longer on my face but fixed somewhere around my chest. I frown as I watch him almost shrink in on himself, and something small in my chest topples, another brick falling from my walls.  
_Time to fix this, Whitlock._

Just as I open my mouth to accept, he lowers his eyes completely, staring at the ground and shuffling his feet, a blush creeping over his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I just thought-"

I cut him off by grabbing his chin a little roughly, not wanting him to finish his thought or his sentence, not wanting him to think that _he_ is in the wrong here. "I _do_ want to," I say when his surprised eyes finally meet mine, and then I shrug a little, feigning nonchalance. "But, you know, just not with them," I add quickly. It's a suitable excuse for my hesitation and not entirely untrue, but definitely not everything. Everything would be too much right now.

His face brightens with my confession. "Yeah, okay," he agrees. "Do you have a car, though? They're kinda my ride."

"Yeah, but then how are you going to get home to... Well, wherever you're from?" I ask, suddenly and inexplicably worried about how little I know about him and the realization that I _want_ to know more. He's possibly the best and scariest thing that's happened to me in a long, long time, and he could disappear again so easily.

"Oh, I live here in Seattle, basically; just south of here a bit, near Kent," he answers easily, and I breathe a small sigh of relief.

"That's great, man," I confirm, both excited and slightly scared that he's so close. That there is no reason not to see him again. He tilts his head a little as he nods slowly, his brows furrowing slightly. "And me, too. Actually, I live just off campus."

"You go to college at UW then?" he asks, a certain amount of hesitance in his voice that I don't understand.

"Yeah, I just finished my first year," I reply as Edward licks his lips absently and my gaze settles on his mouth. Unable to help myself, I lean forward, drawn in by the sight of his tongue sliding across his lips, but then the moment is broken by a large man in a black shirt with 'Security' written across the front.

"You boys need to take it outside. Show's over," he orders, not really looking at us but effectively ushering us to the door. I almost huff in annoyance but then grab Edward's hand, pulling him with me. We emerge into the cooling night air, a slight breeze causing goose bumps to erupt across my heated skin. His fingers tighten with mine, and he comes to a stop, halting my movement as well.

I turn to him to ask what's wrong, but then he pulls me into him, his other hand fitting along my jaw as his lips collide with mine and the world melts away. There is no awkwardness, there are no questions, there is just this hard-to-explain connection between us drawing us closer and closer. And, Jesus fucking Christ, I want to taste him again.

Tangling my fingers in his hair, I groan as his mouth opens with mine, my tongue sliding along his. Once he has stolen my breath, he breaks free, leaving a only small space between our lips. He smiles shyly, almost as if he's uncertain about what just happened. I may like shy and blushing Edward, but a man who knows what he wants is sexy as hell. I move a strand of hair from his eyes, my fingers lingering along his cheek as he gazes at me intently through his fuckhot glasses.

As I'm leaning into Edward again, a loud, obnoxious horn sounds behind me and I jump. Edward closes his eyes slowly before raising his hand and flipping off the car in question. I hear a door open, music pouring into the night. "Come on, bro. Let's get some grub!" comes Emmett's booming voice.

"Can you hold on a sec?" Edward asks me, his eyes imploring me to stay, and although we haven't made definite plans, I'm hoping that we won't be separating so soon. Especially after that kiss.

"Of course," I answer, turning to watch him walk over to his brother who is hanging out the open door of the jeep.

Edward approaches his brother, and they start talking as I stand there on the sidewalk, shifting my weight from foot to foot, contemplating what the fuck I think I'm doing here. Whenever I've been the one to want more, to ask for more, I've been left behind, and so I have adopted a "leave first" attitude. I don't know what is so different about Edward, but here I am not wanting to let this guy go. What really isn't helping is that it doesn't seem like he wants to let go either.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear heavy footfalls coming toward me. I look up in anticipation only to see Edward still at the jeep talking to Rose and Emmett intently staring down at me, his face stern. I unconsciously take a step back, and he gives me a small smile.

"Listen, man. He's my little brother," he begins, averting his eyes and looking somewhere over my shoulder.

"I know," I reply, wondering what I've gotten myself into.

"Yeah, but today's his birthday, and he really doesn't deserve to have his chain yanked, if you know what I mean. He's a good kid."

I nod, unsure how to reply to that. Edward seems like a nice guy and not my usual type, but judging by my past choices, that actually might be a good thing.

"I just don't want to see him get hurt," Emmett continues, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and staring awkwardly at the ground. "Fuck, I sound like Dad," he grumbles.

I chuckle a little, and he looks up at me, a small smile playing on his mouth, too. "It's okay, Emmett. I don't want to see him hurt either." And I know it's the truth. No matter what happens, whether or not anything _more_ even works, I don't want to see pain on his face again.

"Hey! What are you doing, Em?" Edward shouts, running over to where we're standing.

"Just chatting with Jasper here a little," Emmett replies, giving me a wink before turning towards his little brother. Edward shoots him a glare and then looks at me questioningly.

"We're good," I reassure him, and his worried frown relaxes a little.

"Well, you two have fun," Emmett says, slapping Edward on the back, making him wince. We say our goodbyes as Emmett retreats to his vehicle. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" he calls from the jeep before stepping in, closing the door and driving off into the night, leaving a heavy silence in his wake.

I turn to Edward, and I notice that he's wearing a different shirt. "Where's the flannel?" I ask, curious at the change in wardrobe.

"The flannel was Em's anyway. I don't typically wear that kind of thing. But he said he wouldn't be seen with me at this concert if I didn't look the part." He blushes slightly and looks at the ground, and I take the opportunity to look him over: fitted blue button-down shirt, thin leather jacket slung over his arm. "Rosalie distracted me with the shirt while Emmett accosted you. I'm sorry about that, by the way."

"No harm, no foul," I reply and he raises one eyebrow in disbelief. I just change the subject. "And this is what you normally wear then?"

"Yup. This is me," he says, looking down at his attire and grimacing slightly as he twists one leg around. "Although, typically with nicer jeans."

He glances up at me then, a touch of worry around his eyes. "Well, you're fucking hot. And I've always thought flannel was a little over-used anyway," I say watching his mouth spread into a wide smile.

"I was thinking the same thing during the concert," he admits, and then I smile, too. My stomach growls, and I take it as a sign that we should get out of here.

"Shall we?" I ask while reaching my hand out for his. He laces his fingers with mine and nods before I lead him to my ancient Buick, the maroon boat almost taking up two spaces. As I open his door for him and he throws me a smile before sliding onto the wide bench seat. I walk around the front of the car and unlock my door before lowering myself into the driver's side. Edward is looking around my car, and I laugh as he runs his fingers through the dangling tassels above his head and bats the hula girl on the dash. I have lots of crazy shit in here, but it seemed like the perfect car to compliment almost any gaudy car accessory. So, I may have bought a few.

"I didn't know there was so much shit you could get for a car," he remarks, continuing to fiddle with the toys along the dash.

"Well, when you drive something the size of a small house, you find room for things. Plus, this car is so very seventies. It practically begged me to deck it out."

Edward laughs, and I chuckle with him. I pull out of the parking spot, having to sling my arm over his headrest to turn in my seat. Soon I am slowly navigating the streets toward my favorite late-night restaurant, The Night Kitchen, which is close and serves burgers and breakfast at all hours. I figure I can't go wrong with that.

I pull into the small parking lot, and we make our way into the cozy restaurant, the waitress telling us to sit anywhere. I lead Edward to a corner table and we both slide into the chairs next to each other, facing the rest of the room. I grab a menu from the table and hand one to Edward, nodding at his thanks.

I study the menu without really seeing the words, feeling Edward's body next to mine, just his proximity causing my pulse to speed. _What have I gotten myself into?_ I hazard a glance at Edward, surprised to find his eyes already on me.

"What?" I ask a little abruptly, feeling the awkwardness creep over us again.

"I, um, well," he stammers, and then he takes a deep breath and starts again. "I've never done this type of thing before, Jasper. I mean, like, go on a date."

I immediately freeze. A date? Is that what this is? I look around at the dimly lit restaurant, the menus in our hands, our fingers almost touching and his intent gaze fixed on my face.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. Yeah, I guess this is a date.

"Me neither," I admit, an unexpected nervousness twisting in my gut. "I just didn't feel like saying goodbye yet."

He smiles at that and presses his leg into mine. The heat radiating into my skin even through the denim relaxes and excites me at the same time. "Yeah," he agrees, his blush creeping up his cheeks again.

Damn, that blush is going to be my undoing.

Just as I work up the nerve to move my fingers, wanting to touch his skin again, the waitress shows up to take our orders. I ask for my usual, and Edward gets the same, a small smirk on his face.

As soon as the woman walks away, he turns to me with a smile and raised eyebrows. "Did you even read the menu?"

"Don't need to," I counter. "I'm very particular, and I already know what I like. So what's the point in looking further when I know that's what I'm going to get?" As I say this, I run a finger down his hand softly, and this time it's my turn to smirk as his pupils dilate.

"Point taken," he says huskily, his voice lower and gruffer than normal.

I want to pull him into me and crush his lips with mine. I want to press my body against his and feel his body pulse with desire. I want to take him home and explore every inch of his skin with my tongue.

And, scarily enough, I'm still fighting this want for more. There's a building desire for more time, more feeling, more _him_ and it's making my physical desires both more intense and more terrifying.

The moment is broken as the waitress stops at our table briefly, delivering our drinks before bustling off to the next table. I glance up at Edward as he unwraps his straw and places it in his soda before taking a long pull, his lips pursed and his cheeks slightly hollowed.

As my pants tighten with this simple, innocent action, I know resisting him is all but futile.

After he swallows, he fidgets with his straw wrapper for a few moments, and all I do is stare, watching his lips, his fingers, his throat bobbing as he swallows again.

"So, Jasper, what are you studying?" he finally asks, and I almost sigh in relief as the tension in my body eases. Simple questions and simple answers, this I can do.

"American history," I answer easily. "And you? Are you going to college?"

"Yeah, in the fall. I'm thinking about something with biology."

With his words, I realize that he could be moving anywhere, and I had been harboring a small hope that he would be in the area for longer.

"Oh. Where are you going then?" I ask, feigning nonchalance and trying desperately to hide my fears and hopes.

"Just UW. Em's there, and it's a good school." He smiles at me, and I happily return it. Our completely uncertain future may be a possibility, even if I don't even know exactly what I want that future to contain just yet.

We talk about colleges and classes for a while, our food arriving around the time he's explaining about AP classes and how he won't have to start with all freshman courses. We eat our burgers but continue discussing all matter of things: movies, books, music, and we eventually order coffees when the conversation doesn't lag. It seems we don't have any lack of words between us, and while we're talking, Edward's shy demeanor seems to evaporate.

"I can't believe you've never heard Weezer!" he exclaims, leaning forward in his chair, his eyes bright green in their intensity. "Admittedly, they are nothing like what we listened to tonight, but they have a very infectious sound. 'My Name is Jonas' is amazing. I have the CD at home. You could borrow it some time."

And there it is. At the end of his enthusiastic argument for this new band is this small offer of more. An innocent suggestion of something beyond tonight, and my whole body freezes as I fight to remain calm. What the fuck is wrong with me? I thought that I wanted this, but my reaction is anything but want. Am I just fooling myself that I could even entertain thoughts of having more with this boy?

_Fuck. I _want_ to._

"Sure," I respond lamely, unable to give him something more definite, and I can tell by the look in his eyes that my lack of enthusiasm didn't go unnoticed. I am such a dick. Sighing with frustration at myself and my inability to get over my past, I signal for the waitress to bring us our bill. I look at Edward who is still fumbling with his wallet and gently place my hand on his.

"My treat this time," I offer, throwing some cash on the table. I hope he'll get the implication of my words, and by the way he slowly stands and offers me his hand, it seems that he does. We walk back to my car, and I think we are okay, but we spend the ride in an awkward silence except for the occasional directions from Edward.

By the time we pull up to his driveway, I am both frustrated and unsure, not wanting to let him go, but not knowing how to keep him either.

"Well, this is me," he says, gesturing at the house we're parked in front of. He glances at me once more and then reaches for his door handle, but I can't let him go like this. I can't let him just disappear.

"No, wait," I mumble, and his hand pauses in mid-air. "I'm sorry I'm such a dick. I really don't know what I'm doing here."

He sighs and sits back, releasing the door handle before facing me again, his brow furrowed and his mouth tight. "I don't know what you want, Jasper. Every time I think things are going well, they suddenly aren't. I had a really great time and would like to see you again, but it seems like you don't."

How do I explain that I'm just scared shitless without sounding like an absolute pussy? That the only other time I allowed myself to date, to dream of something more, it all came crashing down around my head?

"It's okay," he continues, ignoring my obvious reluctance to talk about this. "If this was just one fun night, then I'm okay with that. I had a wonderful birthday and I'm glad we met." He turns in the seat, looking directly in my eyes. "But don't tell me to wait and then give me nothing."

And that's the crux of it, what I've been warring with all night. Half of me wants to say goodnight and protect myself from possible heartache, but the other half wants to give him this chance and then kiss him senseless. "I don't know what I have left to give," I admit, still uncertain about taking down my walls for him.

"Okay then," he says, his mouth set in a firm line. "Good night, Jasper. It was nice to meet you." He reaches again for the door, and something in me snaps.

"No, Edward. Don't leave." My voice is so quiet that I'm surprised when he stops again.

"Don't fuck with me, Jasper," he says to the window, not turning to face me.

I take off my seat belt quickly, moving towards him, not letting him leave this car until I know one last thing. He turns and we're so close now, his breath brushing warm against my lips.

"Please, just one more kiss," I practically beg, just needing this one last touch. "If there's nothing there, if either one of us can let go, then that's it."

He nods slowly, and I move closer, my fingers knotting in his hair before our mouths press together, his soft lips moving across mine. I moan at the warmth spreading across my skin and pooling in my belly, and I pull him against me harder when his tongue darts into my mouth. Gone is gentle and sweet, we are two men trying to devour the other, teeth clashing and urgent need growing between us.

I break away from his mouth, needing a breath and needing to see where his head is. He opens his eyes, heavy lids hiding the green, and he leans closer again. "Want you," he whispers huskily, and I couldn't agree more.

I pull him with me as I lean back, practically laying across the bench seat of the car. My fingers scramble along over his back and up to his shoulders, digging into the fabric of his shirt and the flesh underneath. He moans above me and shocks me by pressing his full weight into my chest, his mouth returning to mine hungrily. I wonder briefly if I have ever been this turned on before. The slightly awkward, completely breathtaking man that I met in the club is definitely not hesitant now. This is surely going to be the end of me.

He moves me slightly, adjusting the angle of our bodies and putting my right leg up against the back of the seats before settling himself between my legs and sitting back slightly. He traces his fingertips over my chest and down to the hem of my t-shirt. Lifting the fabric, he bends, skimming his nose and lips over my exposed skin and causing goosebumps to erupt over my entire body.

He takes his time teasing and tasting me, but soon I'm lifting my arms and head so that he can peel the shirt off of me. As soon as my hands are free, I reach for him, unbuttoning his shirt as fast as possible and sliding it off his shoulders. He removes it the rest of the way and throws it into the back seat before yanking off the t-shirt underneath. We both seem to move at once, both reaching for each other and yearning for the other's touch.

My fingers spread over his heated skin, memorizing every dip and ridge, feeling him shiver with each movement. As I explore, I feel him moving over me, his touch firm here, subtle and teasing here. Edward's fingers are inching toward my zipper as his lips move lower. And I want this so badly. I want him, but I don't want to stop kissing him.

"No," I whisper, pulling his face toward mine again. At the look of panic in his eyes, I amend my first statement. "Like this."

Aligning us again, I wrap my legs around his before grabbing his ass and squeezing. He reacts by thrusting into me and grunts as our erections press against each other.

I see fucking stars.

I pull him into me again, and then he starts moving on his own, his hips slowly circling with mine as his hands tangle in my hair and his mouth covers mine.

"Yeah," I groan as he scrapes his teeth along my jaw and finds his rhythm. "Fucking perfect."

Gone is nervous Edward and I encourage him with my hands and mouth, our mutual noises filling the small space as we both edge toward our orgasms. The building heat in my groin racing higher and higher while he grinds his length against me harder.

"Jasper," he gasps into my mouth, his eyes wide. "I'm so close."

"Me too, baby," I answer, lifting my head to bite at his lip and suck it into my mouth, eager to see his face as he gives in to this.

As Edward's motions become more erratic, I push up into him, not wanting to lose this amazing feeling just yet. His breath stutters and his eyes clamp shut as his mouth opens in a wordless moan, and his hips still after one last thrust. The combination of feeling him pulse against me and the pressure of his hip bone along my length sends me hurtling over the edge as well, my mind blank and my ears ringing as all my nerve endings explode at once.

When I finally come back to my senses, Edward is half-slumped across me, his head on my shoulder, his eyes closed and his mouth curved into a lazy smile.

"That was-," he begins softly, but then stops, seemingly at a loss for words.

"Amazing? Wonderful? Best dry hump you've ever had?" I offer helpfully, and his smile widens.

"Yeah," he agrees, opening his eyes and kissing me softly. "I was going to say 'sticky', but yours are better."

I push him lightheartedly in the shoulder, and he chuckles into my neck. I turn slightly, putting my back against the seat and pulling Edward down next to me. I run my fingers over his cheek and into his hair before bringing my mouth to his once again. When I pull away, my hand lingers on his face, and I watch as his eyes open slowly, the green intensity altogether too much and not enough.

"Where are your glasses?" I ask finally, wondering how this boy seems to be always losing them.

"I have no idea," he admits, pressing his lips against my cheek. "And honestly, right now, I don't really care."

I chuckle and just relax in his arms. My legs are uncomfortably cramped even in this car, but I just relish the warmth and the post-coital happiness for a few moments longer. We enjoy a few more slow kisses, but then I notice that the sky is starting to brighten outside.

"It's getting late," I remark, looking into Edward's half-lidded eyes. "Time to say goodnight, I think."

He hums against the skin of my neck and places one more kiss there before sitting up and finding his shirts and glasses.

"Do you wanna, um, come inside and clean up a little?" he asks once his clothes and specs are back in their rightful places.

Honestly, I want to drive home and go straight to bed, but sitting for the ride in my sticky pants does not sound appealing.

"Yeah, that would be great actually," I answer, while pulling my shirt over my head and running my hands through my tangled hair.

He opens his door and steps into the early morning, and I follow him up to the typical, two-story suburban home. He opens the door, and we step into a small foyer that leads into a white-tiled hallway with the stairs on the left and a living room on the right.

"You can use the bathroom down here," he offers, leading me to a small room behind the stairs with a sink and a toilet.

I step in and close the door, leaning back against it for a moment to regain my senses. I make quick work of cleaning my skin but have to just remove my boxers. The jeans are loose enough that I should be comfortable for the ride home at least.

When I exit, I find Edward leaning against the wall, head tilted back and eyes closed, a picture of relaxation.

"So, yeah, thanks for that," I say and he startles slightly before smiling and shrugging.

"Anytime," he responds, and then his smile widens as I chuckle at the implication. "You know what I mean."

He walks slowly in front of me to the door, and I know this is my last chance. If I don't make some kind of move now, offer him something more than a kiss, I won't ever see him again.

"Um, Edward?" I start and then cringe at how unsure I sound. He turns to face me, his eyebrows raised and his face calmly expectant. "Uh, can I have your number?"

"Yeah, sure, but do you have email?" he counters, a small embarrassed smile on his lips.

"Actually, yeah, I do. All UW students get one," I answer, slightly confused but going with it.

"Well, I'm on a local bulletin board. And maybe it's a better idea than calling here," he explains with a subtle wave around his parents' house.

"Ahh, yeah, good idea. So, we can..." I trail off, wondering just how nerdy this makes us, but he just looks at me expectantly. "You wanna trade email addresses?"

"That's the idea," comes his simple and calm answer, but his mouth gives him away as it twitches at the corners with his repressed smile. I follow him into the kitchen as he grabs a pen and some paper. We both write down our addresses, and I stuff his in my jeans. We walk back to the door, and this time I have no more excuses, I need to leave.

"Thanks, Jasper," he whispers, leaning toward me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "I had a wonderful time."

"Me too," I answer before placing a chaste kiss on his lips and running my finger along his jaw one more time. I leave quickly, only glancing back when I reach my car and see Edward raise his hand in farewell before closing the door.

The drive back to my apartment doesn't take long as traffic is pretty light this early on a Saturday morning. As it is, I have to keep the window open and the music blaring to stay awake. In record time, I am unlocking my front door and stumbling down the hallway toward my bedroom. I shed my clothing along the way to my bed, but when I drop my jeans I hear a faint rustling. Remembering the small scrap of paper with Edward's email address on it, I dig through my pocket until I find it.

While waiting for my computer to boot up, I piss and find a new pair of boxers to sleep in. I log into my email and decide that if I'm going to give this thing with Edward a chance, then I'm going to give it a real fucking chance. Which actually translates into sending him a message now before I think about this too much. I write quickly and then, hoping for the best, press send.

...

To: ECullen (at) seattlebbs. net  
From: whitlock12 (at) uw. edu

_Hey E,  
Made it home. Wanna grab some dinner when you wake up?  
-J_

_...  
_


End file.
